American Idol 5
The Perils Of Paula: Unbelievable Excuses
Report and Commentary by Ron Lemon
March 27, 2006
According to an MSNBC report American Idol judge Paula Abdul says she has good reasons for her bizarre behavior on the show.
Reason #1:
It's all Simon's fault. How predictable. MSNBC quotes Paula as saying, "He's worse than ever. If they say, 'Paula is going crazy,' the reason is Simon is whispering things in my ear, like, 'What's the price of beans?' Things that make no sense at all."
Paula doesn't explain why that is making her crazy, why she feels compelled to pay attention or react to it. Nor does she explain how that causes her to sway in her chair to the point that viewers worry she is about to fall out of it. It doesn't explain the seal clapping, the slurred and pointless comments she offers the contestants which more often than not are incomprehensible or simply silly. Maybe she is just repeating what Simon says. She must be under his evil spell. That would explain it.
Or maybe it is because....
Reason #2: Girls And Boys Are Different
Paula tells MSNBC's Jeannette Walls that Randy and Simon are there to rip the contestants apart, so she doesn't have to. She told Rolling Stone "It's not my role. Why should I, when the guys to the right and left of me will crush them?" Yeah, Randy does that a lot.
But that is not all the keeps her from criticizing the idols. The real reason is between her legs. As quoted in Rolling Stone, Paula blames Randy and Simon and then says, "And that's on top of the fact that I have a vagina," although maybe she is not sure as she continues with "Though I do check between my legs to see if something else is sprouting down there."
I'm so glad she explained it to us. It will not be long before we hear she is suffering from exhaustion. Yeah, that's it.
In other American Idol news -
Kellie Pickler
After an unsuccessful campaign to keep Kevin "Chicken Little" Covais in the competition, Vote For The Worst has begun promoting Kellie Pickler, again. They tried and failed to lead the campaign to keep Covais alive in the competition and he was quickly voted off the show.
Is there finally a backlash building against this kind of thing? Is the audience finally voting for the talented? I doubt it. Kevin lost because his change in attitude irritated his fan base.
Kellie has remained true to herself. Whether that self is genuine or all an act is open to question. But it is working for now and I think she will be around for a long time, and of course Vote For The Worst will take the credit for that.
Fantasia
UPI is reporting that American Idol 3 Winner Fantasia Barrino has a deal with Lifetime cable network to play herself in the story of her life. The movie will detail how she "overcame sexual abuse, poverty and illiteracy to win the Fox TV talent competition's third season, create a double platinum album and grab four 2006 Grammy nominations."
Last year Fantasia released a memoir called "Life is Not a Fairy Tale". In it she reveals "she was functionally illiterate and working with tutors to improve her skills", according to UPI.
Ron Lemon is the very opinionated, but not-always-right, editor of Reality TV Calendar. He is a United States Air Force veteran, a Pennsylvania Army National Guard veteran and retired from the Pennsylvania Department of Corrections. He lives on the southern shore of Canada with his fiancee and business partner Christine and their spoiled dog, Stash. He, Ron - not the dog, does this because he enjoys it, he hates alarm clocks, and it is better than getting up and going to work everyday. Until such time as he wins the lottery he can be reached at: Editor@RealityTVCalendar.com.
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