The Bachelor: Andy Prefers "Potential" To "Passion"
Commentary by Peter Andrew Sacco Ph.D
May 22, 2007
Watching The Bachelor I need someone pass me the tissues! It wasn't supposed to be this way! I am a man, the strong, silent type. I have a Ph.D. for crying out loud and write books on relationships. I am not supposed to get all choked up and emotional. Guess what? Last night's final episode of The Bachelor had me going. And like I predicted, someone was going to get hurt badly and they did. This is the "understood" and "implied" cost of being on a reality television show about love. That is your love.
When we wrote our new book "Fast Food Dating: Your 2 Cents", we devoted a chapter to reality television show dating and romance. We were very skeptical about these shows and the outcomes they produce so we took to the streets to find out what people thought. We also took to the Internet to get feedback and insights. When all was said and done, we put together two Top 10 lists for trying reality television dating and for staying away from it like the plague. Keep in mind our book was intended to be insightful, but it was also seasoned with sarcasm and humor. What can I say; my co-author was a former runway model and actress!
Getting back to the last episode of The Bachelor, practicality won out over passion! For the last 3 months, I wrote columns for Survivor Fiji and The Bachelor. Funny, but the two remaining "contestants" from The Bachelor could be pigeon-holed into representing each of these two shows. Well, of course that is my own opinion! Bevin exemplified everything I thought The Bachelor to be. She was passionate, affectionate and put her heart on the line. Andy kept pointing this out and said this is what he loved about her.
Is there "real" passion here?
On the other hand, Tessa was more practical and according to Andy, "versatile" and had "potential". She "stuck with the journey" as he eloquently phrased it. Basically, you have Yau-man and Earl from Survivor Fiji here. Just as Earl stuck to the journey on Survivor Fiji, Tessa stuck to the journey on The Bachelor, rarely ever showing us or Andy anything until the end. She claimed she was guarding her feelings, who can blame her.
Interestingly, if you are going to go on a reality show like The Bachelor and remain guarded and hope to win a hand in marriage, what the hell are you doing on their in the first place? I think you belong on Survivor more than you do The Bachelor!
I watched the final episode last night with my girlfriend. I wanted a woman's perspective while we watched this show. We watched it together like we would a chick flick, except I didn't keep getting up to run to the other flat screen to see what the score of the hockey or baseball game was. As a matter of fact, I will have you know I had to keep telling her to "keep quiet" because I needed to hear every word. This shed some new light on our situation. I think I just bought a month's worth of new chick flicks at the theater. Does anyone know if there are new ones coming out, "Please no!"
I found it funny as we were watching that she said the same thing I did. "Bevin was very passionate and really showed her care toward Andy". As a matter of fact, we both agreed there was some major chemistry growing on! It was interesting to see that Andy's mother and grandmother picked up on this were literally gushing all over Bevin when they were sitting on the couch. They appeared to be just as passionate about her as Andy was! Andy's father and grandfather were the more pragmatic types looking for the "potential" in a woman. We could see they were more in the Tessa "tribe".
In the end Andy went with.....
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