Celebrity Fit Club: Screech Threatens To Walk, Again
Episode 3 Recap by Travis H.
May 7, 2007
Last week on "Celebrity Fit Club", both the men's team and the women's team earned their bragging rights. The men won the weeks "fit camp" which consisted of a demanding three mile hike up and down a mountain and two team building exercises. The women won the first weigh in of the season even thought the men actually lost more weight than the women; 48 pounds vs. 37 pounds. This season however, it is the total weight loss percentage that determines the winning team and the women lost 5.65% while the men lost 5.54%.
The weight loss break down for the first weigh in was as follows:
Ross - Lost 15 pounds. Current weight is 199 pounds.
Warren - Lost 12 pounds. Current weight is 209 pounds.
Cledus - Lost 12 pounds. Current weight is 202 pounds.
Maureen - Lost 11 pounds. Current weight is 139 pounds.
Kimberley - Lost nine pounds. Current weight is 167 pounds.
Tiffany - Lost nine pounds. Current weight is 143 pounds.
Screech - Lost nine pounds. Current weight is 208 pounds.
Da Brat - Lost eight pounds. Current weight is 164 pounds.
The men's team decided to call themselves the Regulators and chose Warren as their team leader while the women chose to be called the Shady Lady Bunch and decided that Kimberley would be their team leader.
A vote-off waiting to happen.
Screech continued to irritate each of the other celebrities by talking trash about them; however he expected them to be sympathetic to all he has been through since some "sleaze" released a "private" (porn) video of him and two lady friends. For some crazy reason, Maureen and Ross convinced Screech not to quit the competition.
Its day 29 of the competition as this week's episode begins and this week's fit camp is a kayak race at the Long Beach Marine Stadium. Host ANT informs the celebs that this week they are going to turn the competition up a notch. Drill Sergeant Harvey tells them that this week's fit camp will consist of four one on one kayak races. In the event of a tie there will be a tie breaker. In order to level the playing field, the women will start 30 meters ahead of the men, based on Olympic kayaking events for both men and women. The winning team will be rewarded with a resort weekend of sun and surf in Hawaii. The Shady Lady Bunch screams and jumps up and down in excitement and seems much more excited than the Regulators. In fact, Maureen really wants to win the trip. Can the Shady Ladies win?
The celebs are all given a few minutes to practice their kayaking skills and nobody seems to have any idea what they are doing. As Kimberley practices, Screech continues his smack talk from the previous week saying paddling will be good for her and the wet suit she's wearing "helps the jiggle". I have a strong feeling that all of his trash talking will eventually end up biting him in the ass. What are the odds that Screech's kayak will flip over and he'll drown? Probably extremely slim but one can dream right?
The first heat is Maureen versus Warren and Warren says that if he loses the race to a 50 year old woman he'll kick himself in the ass. Maureen has the early lead but saw it slip away when she makes the turn but fails to go around the flag. Her unfortunate mistake hands Warren an easy victory. It doesn't look like Maureen is going to win this Hawaiian vacation she so badly wants. After the race, she is so discouraged and upset that she is in tears but the rest of her team figures that if they can win the next three races, they can still win the prize.
Up next are Tiffany and Ross. As much as I like Ross, I'm hoping that Tiffany wins so that Maureen can have a chance at winning the vacation she obviously really wants and needs. Sadly, like Maureen, Tiffany struggles at the turn. Ross rounds the flag easily while Tiffany lost her cool and lost control of the kayak. In the end, Ross easily wins the race.
With the men up two to nothing, it's up to Kimberley to keep hope alive for the women. Naturally, her race is a showdown against Screech and more than a trip to Hawaii is on the line. With so much on the line, Screech makes sure he has plenty of gas in his tank and lets out a big fart. This reminds me that the other day on Oprah, I learned that most people fart two liters of gas a day. What would we do without Oprah? Anyhow, back at the race, Screech starts strong and cuts Kimberley's lead in half and at this point I'm hoping that the big ole' fart that Screech let out at the beginning of the race actually blew a hole in his kayak. At the midway point, they were neck and neck but all of Kimberley's hard work in the gym paid off when she pulls away from Screech and wins the race! You Go Girl! Back on land, sore loser Screech is once again trash talking Kimberley making comments about her weight. It's at this point that I'm wishing someone would come up and whack him on the back of the head with their paddle.
With the men up two to one.....
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