Million Dollar Listing: High Drama, Higher Prices!
Episode 2 Recap by Logan Huffman
September 8, 2006
Welcome, everyone, to the second episode of the show with high drama, but higher property prices, Million Dollar Listing!
Coming up on this episode of Million Dollar Listing, condo queen Lydia Simon tries to sell a beachfront condo for top dollar before her wedding. We know that, of course, it can't be that easy. And in Hollywood, married super agents Dia and Ray deal with an emotional divorcée (who seems a little crazy to me) desperately trying to sell her beloved home.
We begin in Malibu, and are formally introduced to Lydia Simon, who works as a real estate agent for Caldwell Banker. She is the top seller of condos of all the agents in Malibu. Over the past three years, each year she has doubled her sales. Her nickname is condo queen, and in 2005, she sold $40 million dollars worth of property. Wow! Lydia introduces us to her fiancé, Frank, whom she met at a listing of hers. She fell in love with him, and they have been together for five years now and are soon to wed. She says that her work takes a front seat to the wedding, though.
Today, Lydia tells us that we are looking at "Holiday House", which is located in a very prestigious neighborhood. No one there has been willing to sell their house in a while, so this is really an elite listing. We are introduced to Lydia's client, Chet Swenson, who has become very rich due to his great investments in the condo market. He owns a vodka company with his daughter, and after watching the Big Brother live feeds, I'm sure Danielle from Big Brother would be thrilled to meet him. Lydia tells us that she and her client have the highest records for beach condo sales. Chet is a powerful force in the Malibu condo arena.
Lydia is touring the condo with Chet. Chet tells us that one of Frank Lloyd Wright's understudies originally designed the condo. The condo is decorated in a very clean and contemporary manner, and has an awesome deck that overlooks the ocean. Chet thinks that the property is a very rare find, and Lydia thinks that it is sexy. Maybe she can arrange a deal with the guy who was looking for somewhere to film a porno on last week's episode. It also has a master suite with an ocean-view balcony, which is very coveted by buyers.
Lydia has done many listings with Chet and has become close friends with him, so she opted to invite him and his wife Joy over to her house to arrange the details of the deal instead of doing it in her office. She feels that her office is too impersonal due to the nature of their relationship. Lydia is also managing another of Chet's properties for nearly $2.8 million dollars. Chet says that while selling the property is difficult, Lydia has convinced him that due to current market conditions, now is the perfect time to sell the property. Lydia pulls out the contract, and begins to negotiate a price with Chet. She has sold $10 million dollars worth of property for Chet, and knows that he will hold out for his desired price. She suggest $2,699,000, and he says that there is emotional attachment to the property, but agrees to Lydia's judgment of the highest reasonable price. There is a potential profit of $1,409,000 to be made on the property. Chet says that he would only do this with Lydia, and toast to their hopeful success. Lydia can make a potential commission of $67,475 on the property. Lydia toasts to prosperity and good business together.
Over in Hollywood, we meet our next agent who is doing his morning routine. His name is Ray Schuldenfrei, and he sold $20 million dollars worth of property in 2005. Wow, that number seems kind of low after Lydia's $40 million dollars worth of sales. He is married to Dia, and they are a famous Hollywood real estate team. Dia's nickname is 'Diva', and she says that she and Ray do not work well together at all. Not a good sign. I wish they were on "The Amazing Race". She says that they have been married for forty years, and they are already together all of the time, so working together isn't easy. Dia is slowly getting ready for work, and Ray is in the car frequently blowing the horn. I think they're in for a long day.
Dia finally comes out and gets in the car, and Ray drives towards the Hollywood Hills to a contemporary sixties home. The owner has asked to speak with them about the possibility of listing the home. Ray tells us that Dia and him work as a good cop, bad cop, and he brings the smiles, while Dia brings the brutality. Translation: he's nice, and she's a bitch. They are already bickering in the car about their plan once they get in the house. He tells Dia not to pick apart the house right away, and she tells him to not go crazy with the listing price. Dia says that she's going to be nice. I think this is going to be "The Amazing Race's" Jonathan and Victoria in twenty years.
Ray says that the house is great, but the seller is really neurotic, and three neurotic people in one house are too many (OK, he didn't actually say the last point, but he did say the seller was really neurotic). We see the woman in her bedroom putting more makeup on to her already caked-on makeup face. She apparently likes the hooker look in makeup. We see her cat, which I immediately feel bad for. She says that she didn't know anyone in Hollywood, and if she hadn't been so in love with her husband, she would have never given up her 24 years in Hawaii. She says that she and her husband did a lot of work on the house, and he then had his mid-life crisis. We hear a loud glass-shattering noise, and the cat goes tearing away. The editors are finally kind enough to tell us that her name is Antoinette Irachi, so I can finally quit calling her the "neurotic woman". She bends over looking for her cat, and we unfortunately see her thong. Trust me, it's unfortunate. She is persistent in looking for her cat, but what she doesn't realize is that her cat is hiding for a reason. We see it hiding in the hallway.
Antoinette says that she did not want the divorce, but her husband did. She says that she was devastated. She continues to look for her cat, and we continue to see her thong. She says that she had no one support her, and her cat and her house are the only things keeping her sane. She is selling the house because she can't always come up with the money every month for her payments, so she just borrows against the house, and it's become more than she can handle. She is still looking for her cat, which is hiding under the bed. Poor, poor, kitty.
Dia says that they have seen this many times with clients who have been through a divorce or financial problems, and those issues make it harder for them to sell the house, since no one wants to downsize. Antoinette tears her mattress and practically her entire bed apart, and finally finds the cat. The cat lets out a painful cry, and crouches as far into a corner as possible. Is anyone wondering why her cat is so terrified of her? Could this be foreshadowing?
Dia and Ray have arrived, and get out of the car to go in the house. Dia decides that she wants more camera time, and tells us that the goal of any listing appointment is to get the listing signed. I think we have a new Sherlock Holmes on our hands. Antoinette greets them at the door, and Dia and Ray introduce themselves. We also learn that Antoinette found out about Dia and Ray through a mailer sent to her house. They begin touring the house. Ray says that the house has everything that a buyer would want, including a great view and privacy. Dia sits and shakes her head no the whole time Ray is talking. Maybe her and Antoinette can visit the psychiatrist together. Dia says that the house needs work and remodeling, and some buyers aren't willing to pay to do that. Ray snarls up his nose and shakes his head no when she's talking, too. I understand why they are married now. The house is very spacious, and has a nice pool and a great view of Hollywood. We learn that the house was purchased in 1995, and all costs included, they only paid $307,000 dollars for the house, which is a deal from what I've seen on this show.
Antoinette says that they have to help her figure out a price for the house, and Dia says that they are doing that right now in a snotty tone. She must be a joy to work with. Ray says that it is a prime real estate area, with houses in the neighborhood selling for between 1 and 4 million dollars. Ray says that figuring out a price is a combination between science and experience. Ray asks her if she's into numerology. Oh God, he should just call Miss Cleo to determine a price by her tarot cards. Dia rolls her eyes, and tells us that she told him not to do any funny stuff. Antoinette answers yes, but I think she was lying, as she seems caught very off-guard by the question.
Ray asks for a number, and Dia says that if he does something really weird, that may put off a lot of buyers. I know I would have already kicked the crazies out of my house. Antoinette says that her lucky number is 4, and that she would love to get $1.4 million out of the house. Ray says that they could do it, but it would take time. Dia starts to say that who knows how long it might take, but Ray gives her the hand to shush her. I wish she would smack him. Ray makes the price reveal very dramatic, and they decide that $1,294,000 is the correct listing price for the house. Dia tells us that she wanted to list it at $1,295,000, but since Antoinette loves fours, and thanks to Ray's crazy moment…I mean numerology session, they went with $1,294,000. The potential profit is $987,000, and the potential commission is $32,350. Antoinette is very happy, and says that she never even knew she was going to sign a contract, but does sign the contract. Dia and Ray thank her for choosing them, and they leave.
Dia and Ray are excited about getting.....
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