The Next Best Thing: The Not-So-Magic Kingdom
Episode 3 Recap by Donna Emery
June 16, 2007
This week on The Next Best Thing, the judges went to Orlando to find contestants for the show where people try to prove they are great celebrity impersonators. They passed through so few of the contestants that I can't help but wonder if this week's episode was really just a preview of Jeff Ross' repertoire of one-liners, because they were certainly on display in this week's show.
The first performer was one of the best. Elvis Presley appears to be one of the most-imitated performers, and I've seen some terrible Elvis's in the last three weeks. This one is the real deal. He looked and sounded like Elvis, and I agree that he should advance to the next round.
It took quite some time until the judges found another good one.
We were first visited by Britney Spears. She was not that bad, but she looked pretty haggard. Jeff said she looked like "Britney after rehab." She didn't make it.
Neither did Avril Lavigne. She sounded off-key and looked about as attractive as Lavigne's lyrics.
Next Best Thing Judge Lisa Ann Walter
A screaming Sam Kinison blasted our ears. He only sounded like Kinison when he screamed, though his look was good. He didn't make it.
We got a redneck Toby Keith that sang a song called "Talking about Me." He was pretty bad. Jeff noticed his oversized incisors, and called him "Toby Teeth."
Borat may have looked like the popular comic, but his sound was awful. The judges didn't let him waste much time, and that's good.
Michael Jackson danced extremely well. His moves were amazing, but his voice was absolutely awful. He looked a lot like Michael, but overall he was a very poor imitator of the singer.
Next came an overweight man, dressed as Cher. Cher is another performer who apparently gets imitated a lot. He said he'd been doing Cher for 8 years. But he screeched his song, and was wearing a thong. Elon joked: "Mom! I told you to stop dressing like that!" but no one wanted Mr. Cher to continue.
Muhammed Ali looked very good, and did a little "spar" with Jeff. I thought he was at least worth a longer look, but the judges sent him packing.
Stevie Nicks was very scary-looking. Her voice was very bad, and Jeff correctly termed her as "Fleetwood Whack."
Next, we saw 5 Elvis's that were not anywhere nearly as talented as the first Elvis of the evening. We suffered through Fat Elvis, Young Elvis, Weird Elvis and Very Weird Elvis. We ended with a man who claimed to be a relative of "The" Elvis. Elon wondered if he was an "illegitimate Elvis." Only a few notes of his song were enough to show us that he was no relative. The judges encouraged him not to quit his day job, but he said his day job is "being Elvis." He must be starving if that's true.
We finally saw a keeper in President Bush. This guy looked and talked like Dubya, and he was very funny. It was a relief to see someone good, and this guy is very good. I am looking forward to seeing him again in Las Vegas.
And then we went back to the losers:
Barbra Streisand was there, with her original nose. She had a very bad voice, and she didn't go forward.
Hank Williams Jr. and Tim McGraw were both awful.
Another Cher came, but Jeff joked that the male performer was "not as manly as Cher."
Next we got a Sinatra that was too old, a Diana Ross that sang like Jeff Ross, and Marilyn Monroe who was as old as the Sinatra. Maybe they hooked up in the parking lot.
A man who'd been doing "Kramer" from Seinfeld for 13 years showed the world that he's been wasting his time. So has Dolly Parton, who is an awful singer.
Johnny Cash and wife.....
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