Bonaduci, Fights, Forgiveness & Fairplay Fox's 2nd Annual Reality Really Awards Show
Commentary by Cindy Rutolo Dietrich October 16, 2007
I wasn't gonna write about it.
I wasn't gonna write about it.
I WASN'T GONNA WRITE ABOUT IT.
DAMMIT!
I didn't even know "The Fox Reality Really Awards Show" existed until I
stumbled past it accidentally. But then I saw a sight that completely
saved my night. Jen was sitting with Mike Boogie, and Dr. Will Kerby.
I bolted upright.
Froze the screen.
Had to look till I had my fill.
Because up until then I was completely disgusted with the thought of Big
Brother 8 winner, E.D. (Evel Dick) again being heralded like a king.
Apparently BB8's Eric and Jess had just won a Best Showmance Award. Jess
seemed as clueless as before. Even though now she must know the score.
She said she didn't' know why they got the award for a Showmance. "We
were a real romance, so I didn't think we'd win Showmance. But, I love
it."
Sigh.
Big Brother's Amber embraced E.D. and his daughter's rude nick name for
her when she went up to claim a prize for Favorite Tears. Like it's a
good thing she says, "I'm known as the Wambler."
Then Big Brother Two winner, Dr. Will Kirby, and his best bud, Big
Brother All-Star winner, Mike Boogie, were called up on stage. They were
introduced as last year's Best Showmance winners. They made some inane
jokes. But looked damn good making them.
They were presenting the award for Favorite Winner. E.D. was up for the
award. There he was. Looking just I like remembered him. I even miss him
a little bit. I did spend three months watching, and writing about him,
and the others.
A young, dark haired beauty seemed to be consoling him. He didn't win. I
was so damn relieved. That's all that he needs, I think. More rewards
for his ego. The night was early though. There'd be plenty to feed E.D.'s
ego.
The girl he was with reminded me of E.D.'s favorite victim, Jen. I
wondered then, if Will and Boogie joined E.D. in Jen bashing when, and
if, they'd gotten together. I was brooding about that thought when I
caught the three of them, Jen, Boogie, and Will sitting together. Now
I'd love to know the whole story. I know that Jen said that she knew
Boogie from before. But I thought the guys would support ED. You know,
their disgusting motto? "Bro's before Ho's." Not that Jen is, or was
one. Still, she is a woman.
Maybe they took Jen under their wing, I think. Befriended her. Protected
her, by supporting her. Then again, maybe she doesn't need any
protecting at all.
There was a loud, weird mix of people at this event. The audience volume
was so loud, the presenters had to practically shout. At times this
award show sounds, and looks more like a porn star convention. There's a
bizarre mix of porn stars - and reality show stars in attendance. For
example, Airforce Amy, and the Cathouse Girls from HBO, were acting all
porny, and nude outside in a big hot tub.
Kennedy, the Hostess, looked good. She doesn't seem to have aged much
since her MTV hosting days. She describes "Fox's Reality Really Award
Show "as reality's "Christmas, 4th of July and Arbor Day, all rolled
into one. And, it tastes like chicken."
I have to admit I wasn't really all that interested in most of the
awards. I just kept slo- mowing, and freezing on BB 8 faces. Saw Zack
sitting next to Daniele. So, thought maybe they had assigned seating.
Really, watching the audience was much more fun then the actual award
show was. It was such a weird, wild mix of faces. Maybe because there
are entirely too many reality shows. They're like rabbits. They breed so
fast, it's hard to keep up. Some of them are so awful, they just simply
suck- too much to be of any value.
Even Kennedy was searching, and seeking out reality faces in the
audience. She said, "We have the CBS contingency. Jedi Howie's here"
Then she points out Hugh Hefner. It hadn't even occurred to me that
Hugh, and "The Girls Next Door," from E would be there. I have to admit,
I'm a fan. I love these girls. They get to do one of my favorite things;
dress up. I'm a very girlie girl. I love getting pretty.
The thing I like best about Holly, Kendra, and Bridget though, is the
way that they treat each other. Really. They're decent. They're sweet.
They're loving. They're not competitive, jealous, catty, petty. They
seem really kind hearted. Gentle. Generous.
I know, it's an unusual arraignment. But, I love how sweet and loving
Hugh is with them. And, I love how much they love and admire him back.
I would have never expected to like anything about this show. But I
became an instant fan.
I've also enjoyed watching them grow. Kendra especially, as she is so
young, continues to blossom into a wonderful woman.
Bridget is brainy, beautiful and ambitious. Holly will eventually be
Hugh Hefner's next Mrs.
They all seem loved. They all get their wishes. Most wish they could
live in a world this delicious.
Just when I was starting to have fun. They had to remind me how evil -
Evel Dick really was.
The award was for Favorite Villain.
I'd forgotten about Dustin Diamond. Or, I'd promptly made myself forget
I'd ever watched one moment of a show with him in it. Until they
reminded me with a clip of his sliminess on "Celebrity Fit Club.
Then there was Evel Dick- in a short clip giving us an evil reminder. He
was rubbing his hands together as he made this threat to Amber: "I
promise - on the life of your daughter- I am going to make you so
miserable, every, f** day."
Ahh shit. I didn't want E.D. to win it. But, he did. At least it was
appropriately titled. Still, I'm tired of watching people get rewarded,
and ever more lauded for acting in such outrageous ways. I could see
Amber laughing in the background. He seems surrounded by love, and
support and forgiveness. He's a force of gravity. He just sucks it in.
E.D. slowly struts on stage.
He looks absolutely unafraid. Absolutely, cock sure. He's wearing his
usual attire. His hair looks like it was licked by fire. I try to
remember that his ire is bravado, based on insecurity. But all I think
is, how ballsy and sure he appears to be.
"Villain?" He asks, smiling. "Come on now. If it wasn't for the
supporting cast, giving me so much good material, there's no way it
could have ever happened."
You know the sad part of this statement, is that he actually believes
that he's the victim. Once again the only reason E.D.'s a villain, is
because they forced him to be. Poor. Poor. Evel D.
"Thank you guys." He continues. "Very much. And thanks to everyone on
the show. And for all the love, support, and hate I've gotten on the
street."
Yay! Bridget won the Hottie Award. I had no idea what the awards were
for. Nor, who would be up for one next. Jen, our BB8 friend, was a
nominee for this award too. Of course they had to use a stupid clip of
her saying she didn't want her buttered body wiped off by an old man
like E.D.
It was actually the first time I really saw this clip. It was discussed,
and referenced so often. I didn't find, at least the part I saw, that
bad at all. I wish she would have won though. If only to piss E.D. off.
Just seeing that clip could have pissed E.D. off enough for the rest of
the night. But then he kept on winning. Still, I bet the Jen bashing's
probably as hot and heavy as it ever was. I find the fact that his
companion that evening looks so much like her, worth much more than his
words, bashings and denials.
Okay, so Jen was definitely with them. (Back to Boogie and Dr. Will).
They gave us another shot of Jen sitting with Boogie. I wonder if it's
killing E.D; Boogie and Will sitting with Jen?
Boogie was commenting, as they applauded the winner of the Hottie
category. Unfortunately it looked like Boogie mouthed 'whore." What a
crushing bore. Of course he probably just meant to support Jen with his
comment.
Just being nominated for the Hottie award, out of all the girls on
Reality TV is probably a pretty big deal. I mean Jen was beaten by
one of Hugh Hefner's own live-in girlfriends. So, despite the endless
bashing and slandering, enough people find Jen beautiful and smashing
enough to nominate her for Favorite Hottie.
Bridget said winning this award was important. She looked golden and
stunning. Her family seems so loving. They all looked very proud of her
too. Bridget said "This is a big honor. When Hef first told me I was
nominated, I didn't even believe him. I had to see it in writing."
Bridget thanks "Hef, Holly, Kendra and all the fans for making us the
number one show on E."
Look's like E.D.'s up for more evil awards. They have one for favorite
Poddymouth. I can't imagine anyone beating him out of that one. But
someone will.
The next presenters are, yuck. Ick. "The pimp and the porn star. Ron
Jeremy and the owner of HBO's Cathouse, Dennis Hop."
See what I mean? It felt like a porn star award ceremony. While I was
trying to figure out what award these two were giving out, they
announced the nominees for Favorite Pottymouth.
Hell Kitchen's, Chef Ramsey was first. I look at him, like Jerry
Springer. I won't watch either man, or their shows. I refuse to support, or encourage such ugly behavior by watching their shows.
Dustin Diamond was up for this one too. Then they showed a clip of "Evel
Dick demonstrating how he got his name." He was swearing at Eric in that
clip. It was actually a fairly tame one, at least for Evel D.
E.D. looked disappointed when he didn't win. I sure was. I never saw"
My Fair Brady, "or the lady who won the award, Adrianne Curry. But I
can't imagine there's even a comparison. I don't know who voted. But I
have to wonder. Did they even ever see the real Evel Dick on Big
Brother?
Bridget said, during a quick interview break. "This is a wild and crazy
party. Hef says "This is like no other award show I've ever seen."
No kidding. That's what I kept thinking. Apparently, Hugh Hefner, who's
given wild and crazy parties for over fifty years, agrees.
The award for Baddest Bitch was presented next by, "Ironically," Kennedy
said, "Two of the nicest bitches I know. From Big Brother 8, it's Jen.
And Ant, from "Last Comic Standing."
I become more convinced as the night goes on. I think Jen's got some
heavy duty friends in high places.
Jen looked fit, and relaxed, and self confidant. Jen asks "why does the
nominee have to be called the baddest bitch?"
She never did like swearing.
She never lowered herself to swear back at E.D. Which made her, despite
the lies that they told, seem even more like a lady to me.
Pumkin, from E's "Charm School," won. She wasn't thrilled with the title
either. But everyone likes getting a reward.
I missed the beginning of this show. I found it again at 2 a.m. That's
when I found out that it opened with a three way, free style rap from
Pumkin, Buck Wild, and Hottie from "Charm School." They seemed to manage
to mention, and offend many of the nominees on the show. They did a good
job though. Hugh Hefner even gave them a standing O.
E.D. was one of the first presenters. There really seems to be no love
lost between Kennedy and him. "We brought together two extremes. Polar
opposites. Yin and Yang. Matter and Anti Matter. Bridget, From the
"Girls Next Door," is one quarter of the most famous couple in reality
history. And he's the winner of Big Brother 8. He can forget about a
showmance. He didn't even make a friend in that joint." Kennedy said.
Cindy Rutolo Dietrich is an entertainment writer, reviewer, rock journalist, poet, hotel reviewer, pianist, singer, songwriting artist from Pennsylvania.
Are You Buzz Worthy? We Want To Know What You Think
Have you got something interesting to say. We'd like to hear it. This is your chance to sound off about your favorite Reality TV show. Or the show you hate. Did somebody do something really stupid? Really smart? Is there a strategy being over looked? Is a performer for real? Or not getting the buzz they should? Here's your chance - take it.
All articles are the intellectual property of and copyrighted by the individual authors. By submitting an article to Reality TV Calendar you are granting Reality TV Calendar permission to display the article in perpetuity.
Web Counter
