Last Comic Standing 5: When Does It Get Funny? Recap by CC McCandless
June 14, 2007
In the new world of television programming in the 21st century, one established rule is that the networks feel free to air just about anything in the summer, especially if it is dirt cheap to produce and has the slightest chance of bringing in a few viewers. Case in point: Wednesday night's premiere of, yes, season five of Last Comic Standing.
If you've gotten this far and are still reading, then surely you are well aware of this show's admittedly checkered past, its rumored rigged casting, and its steady decline since the solid second season. This show simply won't die, despite NBC's own apparent attempts to kill it, although if this premiere episode is any indication, then this might finally be the death knell we've been waiting for.
LCS returns with a new host in Bill Bellamy and a wider net being cast in the search for "the funniest person in the world." Personally, I'm certain there are plenty of crappy comics left in America, but that's beside the point. We also get new talent judges this time around in the form of former participants Alonzo Bodden, Kathleen Madigan and, of course, Ant. Having him judge comedy is akin to selecting Kirstie Alley to host a weight loss show: you have some vague idea that the person in question knows something about the subject at hand, if only because they publicly suck at it.
"No", it's not funny.
The LCS audition formula remains the same, with open calls in various cities. I don't want to be too judgmental, nor do I want to call the New York stop an absolute freak show, but suffice it to say that one of the most memorable comics there was a black albino. "I'm here to make sure that there's some good comics that are picked," proclaimed Madigan, and she clearly has her work cut out for her, as the New York stop was generally a parade of unfunny hacks of various degrees.
The "Capital One Audience Favorite No Hassle Pass" to the next round was given to a staggeringly unfunny mom from Connecticut who aspires to open for the likes of Ant someday.
I wish I was kidding.
Next stop, Montreal, with the requisite "guy in a hockey uniform" waiting in line while a Mountie patrols nearby. "I want more funny women," Kathleen declares before an endless parade of painfully unfunny ladies take the stage. It really sums things up to simply state the funniest performer, by far, was Mel Silverback, who performed his entire act dressed in a tuxedo and a gorilla costume. "I'm half Jewish, half mountain gorilla," he explained, before delivering some of the night's only funny material. This is what we're dealing with.
Primates aside, the traditional casting clichés for this show remain painfully intact, so much so that I honestly think I could watch with the sound muted and bat better than .500 just guessing on looks alone. Loud, obnoxious-looking full-figured girl? Of course she moves on.
The final, most painful stop of the night was San Antonio, and in this case they saved the worst for last. We got the obligatory "southern guy with a thick accent and a ten gallon hat," and even he didn't move on. There was nothing noteworthy here. Not only was the talent lacking, but we didn't even have the usual suspects that were painfully bad.
By night's end, I was practically falling asleep from the tedium of it all. Last Comic Standing is what it is, or at least it used to be. This time around so far there are no outrageous snubs, no cries of rigged casting, and, honestly, no real reasons to watch the show at all. Next week has to get better, even if it does so by getting a lot worse, because after one brutal episode this show is so bad I can't even muster up any hate for it.
C.C. McCandless is an independent filmmaker and freelance writer. He has a Bachelor’s degree in broadcasting from the Walter Cronkite School of Journalism and Mass Communication at Arizona State University.
You can contact C.C. here: cc.mccandless@gmail.com
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