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Stimpy's Take

Jessica "Figgy"
Justin "Jay"

Survivor 33: Paranoia And The Big Blow Hard
A Stimpy Snarkfest
September 21, 2016


1) Mari:

She may play video games for a living, but I do not give a shit. She saw shit she wants to bust up and has culled numbers. We gots us a playah folks!

2) Hannah:
She’s observant, and that’s a plus. She’s cozying up to people and seems to be on the right side of the numbers. All good.

3) Zeke:
He didn’t piss me off too much. Still, I can’t put any guy who dresses like he does higher than third. Yet.

4) Adam: Getting a bit of a narrator edit, which can’t be a bad thing. Plus he appears to be on the ‘oust the pretty people’ side of things too.

5) Michaela:
Didn’t see much of her this episode, but we did SEE her. That’s a positive.

6) Michelle:
Out of the ‘pretty people’ alliance, she’s the one who’s been remarkably absent from the bonding sessions that have people upset and wary.

That being said, she is seen as being with them. However, that ‘bonding moment’ with Hannah was in there for a reason. Plus a solid performance at the Immunity Challenge can’t hurt.

7) Will:
I’m assuming he’s on the right side of the numbers, but other than a few ‘well this happened’ confessionals, I ain’t getting a good vibe.

8) Jessica (Figgy):
Win the game sweetheart. Then find yourself a husband. Rob and Amber were the exception, and not the rule.

9) Jay:
Pretty people make good allies is NOT a good strategy. If there are more ‘ugly’ people on your tribe then what the fuck do you do? Maybe learn math? Four is not a majority on a tribe of ten numbnuts!

10) Taylor:
See what I wrote for Jay, but add an extra level of stupidity to it, hence why he’s at ten.

Well, there ya have it folks. Hope y’all enjoyed it!

As always, feel free to post your comments below, or email me direct, so you can tell me in private what an ass I am.



Complete Survivor Coverage

Stimpy is a huge fan of Survivor and enjoys dissecting each episode. When not watching Survivor or sports on TV, he fills his time by skydiving, rockclimbing, golfing, and rollerblading, as well as sitting on the beach drinking beer in British Columbia, Canada. You can contact him at

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