Survivor 33: Michelle Controls The Game At Tribal A Stimpy Snarkfest
September 25, 2016
6) Adam: Speaking of ‘grain of salt’. I don’t think Adam is gonna be too put off by how things went down. I mean for crying out loud, we saw him whispering ‘well played’ to the others after Mari got the boot. That doesn’t sound like someone who’s gonna kick up too much of a fuss.
7) Jessica (Figgy): Watch yourself lass. Michelle said you should be worried and I don’t think that just applied to THIS Tribal Council. Also, what fucking planet are you living on if you don’t think anyone will have a problem with you getting cozy with a guy on Survivor. I mean, seriously?
8) Taylor: What a vacuous turd this guy is. Your bro-buddy warns you off, and you are still blissfully unaware of what kind of position you’ve put yourself into.
It was also VERY telling that he wasn’t seen in ANY of the machinations. Michelle was the mastermind, Jay was her right hand, and even Jessica (Figgy) had something to do.
Where was Taylor. Oh, over in the ‘non-factor’ section.
9) Zeke: Just because you wear loud clothes doesn’t mean YOU have to be loud. And I’m not talking volume either here numbnuts! Information is fucking currency in this game, and you gave the other side - who were blissfully unaware till you flapped your gums - the equivalent of a couple of thousand dollars that they turned around and used to hit your side.
And if you get pissy because things turned on you, even though it was YOUR FUCKING FAULT? Well, then you’re an idiot.
1) Jessica (the other one): Despite a lack of face-time this episode, I’m not gonna drop her just yet. She had a solid performance at the challenge, and more importantly her eye problem doesn’t appear to be an issue.
2) Ken: Increased face-time in episode two isn’t a bad thing per se. However it seemed as though his story-arc will be one of ‘growing’ or something. Plus his fixation on Paul worries me a bit. Still he had a solid episode.
3) Bret: Not much outta him this week either, but doesn’t appear to be on anyone’s radar, so why not?
4) Chris: Cocky confessionals about who the next to go aren’t always the best thing. Still he had a solid performance in the challenge, and like Bret, isn’t immediately anyone’s target.
5) David: He’s got a talisman. So he’s not the next to go. I still doubt his long-term chances because his story-arc also seems like it’s going to be one of growth and redemption or some other such nonsense. Not one of a winner though.
6) Ce Ce: Appears to be allied with the man who wants to usurp the throne, and by extension the guy with the talisman.
7) Sunday: I think it was very telling that she got face-time, and it was to voice support for the guy who the rebels are gunning for. I don’t why but I get the feeling that can’t be good.
8) Paul: In the annals of bad episodes dude? You’re gonna rank high! A near-death experience that was alleviated by a few sips of water? Not good. Ken outing the alliance as ‘Paul’s Posse’? Not good. All those confessionals about ‘being in control’? Not good.
Other than that not too much to complain about it (eye-roll).
9) Lucy: Good lord, two episodes in and we haven’t heard a peep from her.
Well there ya have it folks! Another insanely good analysis of what transpired, the added benefit for two-hundred-forty-six hyphens!
Where else are you gonna find such keen insight along with excessive use of a fucking dash?
At any rate folks, as always, feel free to post your thoughts below or email me directly.
Stimpy is a huge fan of Survivor and enjoys dissecting each episode. When not watching Survivor or sports on TV, he fills his time by skydiving, rockclimbing, golfing, and rollerblading, as well as sitting on the beach drinking beer in British Columbia, Canada. You can contact him at Stimpy@Realitytvcalendar.com
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