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Stimpy's Take

Jessica "Figgy"
Justin "Jay"

Survivor 33: Idiot Manly Men Bested By Twit
A Stimpy Snarkfest
October 13, 2016

Granted it’s not the best thing in the world to burn it when you do it, but I still think it wasn’t the worst move in the world to use it.

Certainly he could have tried to use it to bring Jessica (the other one) and Sunday over to their side WITHOUT using it.

But do you think Jessica (the other one) is going to be averse to working with him going forward?

Yeah, probably not too much.

3) Ken:
I don’t mind so much that he got his nose outta joint about Lucy being a dictator, but he got his panties into too much of a bunch about Jessica (the other one) not trusting him.

Dude? Even if you’re telling the truth, you have to convince people of that. You can’t just say it and expect them to accept it.

4) Bret:
Hopefully the cop can adapt. Hopefully the cop ends up on a different tribe than Chris so he can think straight.

5) Sunday:
Not good. I mean I get it. It was a chance to wash your hands of the Paul vote and get back into the graces of the manly-men.

Thing is? It didn’t work. And Jessica (the other one) knows that. So, watch yourself.

6) Ce Ce:
She’s still a bit of a challenge liability (hell, even Cirie proved to be of SOME worth in those kinds of physical challenges) and that can’t bode well for her.

7) Chris:
I am so disappointed in you. I had high hopes for you going in and all you have done is convince me that you are a sad, petulant, vindictive, little bitch.

You have physical strength. You have no mental acumen.

You, as a human being, and a man, are fucking pathetic. Do yourself a favor as you watch this season, or maybe TWO favors.

One: Read the Snarkfest and find out what another man thinks of you and your behavior. Hopefully it’ll serve as a wake-up call.

Two: Grow the fuck up!


1) Michelle:

Not much happening over there, so lack of face time doesn’t concern me.

2) Michaela:
Stellar performance at the Reward Challenge, and a solid performance at the Immunity Challenge.

And a bit more of a level head.

3) Hannah:
That bit with her and Adam was in there for a reason. I don’t think she’s blabbing.

4) Adam:
Talisman. So reasons.

5) Jay:
I am THIIIIIIIIIIIIIS close to dropping him. His one moment this week was to pop in and run down Gen X.

And next week? He’s going to be on a tribe with some of them. I dunno why but that may be a BAD omen.

6) Will:
OH MY GOD!!!!! Eighteen year old? Try and do something for crying out loud! Even Spencer got sound-bites.

You have all but vanished, and you are NOT showing me anything when it comes to challenges!

7) Zeke:
I’ll bump him up, just because. I get the feeling out of all the Millennials he’ll have the least trouble bonding with Gen X after the switch.

At the very least he can toddle off with Chris and not talk together.

8-9) Jessica (Figgy) & Taylor: Sitting in a tree k-i-s-s-i-n-g! What they are NOT doing is playing Survivor.

In fairness, I should have ranked Jessica (Figgy) higher because she at least had a decent showing at the Immunity Challenge, but that seemed like too much work.

If they’re not gonna work at the game? I ain’t gonna work at splitting them up rankings wise.

And somehow I get the feeling I won’t have to next week either.

If they’re teasing a break-up? Probably won’t happen.

Although last week they teased Lucy the Terrible, and look what happened to her.

At any rate, that’s it for this week folks.

Hope y’all enjoyed it.

As always feel free to sound off in the comments section or email me directly.


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Stimpy is a huge fan of Survivor and enjoys dissecting each episode. When not watching Survivor or sports on TV, he fills his time by skydiving, rockclimbing, golfing, and rollerblading, as well as sitting on the beach drinking beer in British Columbia, Canada. You can contact him at

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