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Stimpy's Take

Adam
Bret
Chris
Ciandre
David
Hannah
Jessica
Jessica
Jessica "Figgy"
Michaela
Justin "Jay"
Ken
Lucy
Mari
Michaela
Michelle
Paul
Rachel
Sunday
Taylor
Will
Zeke




Survivor 33: The Split To Three Changes The Game
A Stimpy Snarkfest
October 20, 2016



A new star is born.
Greetings once again fans of Survivor: Millennials vs. Gen X! Episode five is now in the books.

Thus it once again falls to me, Stimpy, your humble (ha!) scribe to bid you hail and welcome to the Snarkfest!

Lots of stuff to get to once again, and we shall in short order.

HOUSEKEEPING!
It’s official: We need more lemon pledge.

Also official: Cleveland is going to the World Series. Also official: Cubs fans sphincters are tightening just a weeeeeeeeeeeeeee bit.

Speaking of officials, the entire crew who reffed the Cincinnati-New England game last weekend should be taken out and shot! That was a gong-show of epic proportions.

Comments from last week’s Snarkfest

Andrew

Well you may have been right about Jessica's (the other one) move to dump Paul coming back and biting her big time, in my defense I looked at it from the aspect of a mature human being and not a pissy little bitch.

What really surprised me about it was how quick Lucy (and Sunday) were to sell her out and be willing votes to boot her. That I didn't see coming.

As for her being clueless she may have been wary of Chris and Bret, but I think she thought she was solid with Lucy and Sunday.

Where we really differ is what's going to happen going forward. I think it was a wake-up call for her and she'll adjust her game accordingly.

We are in agreement though that if Jessica (the other one) does get the boot, she will most likely will her advantage to David.

Personally I could do without seeing him get that deep in the game, but if yer gonna burn a talisman on someone, you may as well get something in return.

David's edit has definitely been on the upturn but, like you, I hesitate to list him as a contender yet.

He's clearly getting more comfortable out there, but now his ass in going to be in Chris' gun-sites (and possibly Bret's too), so there's that to dodge. And, even though he 'bonded' with Taylor he's got to show he can be an asset to more than just him if he wants cover going forward.

cup of joe
'For one thing: It's ironic that Jeff Probst is always going to stump for the typical manly-man in Survivor yet those types of guys don't get portrayed in the best light. Says a lot, I think.'

It speaks volumes. The sad thing is, while there have been overt assholes who fit the manly-man stereotype, Probst probably does believe that the edits given to Malcolm and Moron™ (aka Ozzy) were absolutely stellar.

He probably thinks that because they have their legions of fans who just fawn over them, without realizing that guys like that just can't win the game.

Hell even Moron's™ last kick at the can, showed him being petulant and whiny after his tribe dared to think independently and vote out his snuggle-bunny at the time.

Toss in his great 'strategy' was to 'thrive on Lame Twist Island™'. That's your key to winning?

In a social game, you're going to isolate yourself from everyone else - AND avoid Tribal Councils that those still in the game have to face - and then get back in and steamroll to the end courtesy of Immunity wins?

Again, it gets him legions of fans, but some people liked Hitler too. Doesn't mean a lot unless you get the 'Stimpy Seal of Approval'.

No worries about the Varner thing. But damn! Did you have to bring up Scrotum™ (aka Colton)? He'd almost been expunged from memory. Sigh.

As for Chris, well you read First Takes. I thought there was something there.

It's getting to the point where I'm going to have to take their bios with a grain of salt. I recall one thing in particular that Chris said about his 'tolerance'.

Allow me to say to that after a full viewing of the evidence at hand: BWA-HA-HA!!!! Oh, and bullshit, too.

In my defense.....

Continued on Next Page












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