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Stimpy's Take

Jessica "Figgy"
Justin "Jay"

Survivor 33: Someone Needs To Talk And Someone Needs To Listen
A Stimpy Snarkfest
October 27, 2016

So, onto voting! Figgy got the boot.

Taylor was PISSED! Adam stupidly said ‘I’ll try and explain later’.

Dude? You booted a guy’s cuddle-bunny! I know you didn’t see Chris and his petulant behavior, but you DID see Zeke’s!

Of course, Adam kinda participated in that so expecting anything outta him is probably expecting too much.

So! Figgy - even though she sobbed as she took the walk of shame - seemed to take her ouster all right. Of course she also added she wasn’t disappointed in her game.

Yeah, okay on that! Snork!

So, next up? Taylor vows revenge! Trust me, if he pulls it off somehow, I’d be fucking impressed.

And, there appears to be a new power-couple forming on Vanua! Between David and Zeke of all people! And? David tells him about the talisman!

That has debacle of all proportions written all over it. For both of them!

On to the Run-Down!


1) Jessica: Moving her up a spot, just because.

2) Ken: Aaaaaand, here’s the just because. This guy’s sell-jobs appear to have all the sincerity of ‘it was owned by a little old lady who only drove it on Sunday’ (no, not her - get your minds out of the gutter!).

More importantly he doesn’t seem to have the same deftness that an actual used car salesman used to win this thing once (Heidik).

3) Adam: I applaud you! You broke up a duo that would never vote against one another. I also BOO! you. YOU put yourself in the bind! Don’t bitch about it!

Don’t admit you’re going to piss someone off at Tribal Council. You’re just inviting them to be pissed off at you.

Sensing a theme here? I see this kid as painting himself into a corner and them complaining about the guys who did the drywall.

4) Taylor: Time to show off your mental acumen son!

No. I did not type that with a straight face.

1) Michelle: This may shock. On the other hand it may not. Many long-term readers know my propensity for backing a hot, young chick.

Two solid performances in the challenges, AND? Figgy’s ouster ain’t gonna hurt her.

2) Zeke: Okay, he’s deluded as all get-out. BUT! We have that whole ‘Probst loved him’ thing to deal with. He’s tight with Chris. He’s apparently (grain of salt) going to get tight with David.

But he’s also going to get information on David.

And I don’t think the highlighting of Michelle and Zeke working together in challenges this week precludes them from working together strategically.

3) David: Talisman. Reasons.

4) Chris: When your two highlights are being to able to yell better, and loving pie? You ain’t a winner.


1) Michaela: No reason to drop her. She’s clearly looking out for number one, doing well in challenges, and playing smart.

I mean, her line to Takali? Yeah, if you guys can’t figure it out? Yer on yer own!

Let’s face it. She wasn’t the biggest Figgy fan in the book.

2) Jay: Talisman. So, reasons. Keystone Kops edit notwithstanding.

3) Hannah: Gonna keep her here just because. I don’t think Michaela, nor Jay want to gun her. Yet!

4) Will: Useless, but a useful number to the majority. So, reasons.

5) Bret: Solid enough performance at the Immunity Challenge.

5) Sunday: Until we see her doing SOMETHING I can’t help but put her down here.

Well there ya have it folks! As always, I hoped you enjoyed it.

And, of course, as per usual, feel free to keep posting your thoughts below, or email me directly.


Complete Survivor Coverage

Stimpy is a huge fan of Survivor and enjoys dissecting each episode. When not watching Survivor or sports on TV, he fills his time by skydiving, rockclimbing, golfing, and rollerblading, as well as sitting on the beach drinking beer in British Columbia, Canada. You can contact him at

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