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Stimpy's Take

Jessica "Figgy"
Justin "Jay"

Survivor 33: Another One Bites The Dust
A Stimpy Snarkfest
November 17, 2016

And that leads us to next week. Gen X is imploding! But! Will tells Zeke that Jay has a talisman! And Zeke tells two friends, and so on, and so on.

I’m not even gonna bother addressing Taylor’s parting words, since he’s a moron.

So? On to the Run-Down!


1) Hannah:
Bumping her up because she got some good face-time this episode. Things weren’t all roses and puppy-dogs, but she’s aware of her short-comings. She’s keeping options open.

AND! She’s intent on ‘building a resume’ to win the game. At this stage of the game? Good edit!

2) David: God this hurts. He didn’t have a lot of screen time, but he’s been shown as less-useless than before (and for him that’s a HUGE up-tick in his edit), and he’s also still getting a narrator edit.

3) Jessica: Her lack of screen-time is giving me the heebies. But process of elimination means you can’t put many more people ahead of her. So, reasons.

4) Jay: This was a solid, if unspectacular episode for him. He showed deftness in working things after a vote that went against his expectations, which is more than most guys have done this season.

Copping to eating stolen booty? Not good. Being a known schemer? Not good.

But he still has a bond with Hannah, and apparently one with Sunday. And he’s willing to whore his vote out to keep himself in the game.

The other added benefit of Will outing his talisman? Now he’s free to talk about it with ANYONE and curry some favor.

5) Bret: He’s still getting face-time, and it’s mostly likeable face-time. Hey, when you’re shown getting drunk and not have it blow up in your face? That’s good.

Shit, even Tom from Palau was shown falling on his face after imbibing too much rum. And he won!

6) Ken: Hello? You still there? I see you, but I can’t hear you! That can’t bode well.

7) Sunday: Well, she’s trying to be proactive. I just don’t know if there’s a need for it yet. IF Jessica was really gunning for her don’t you think we’d have seen some evidence of that?

Now she does have a bond with Bret and Chris. One of those might be a better bond than the other, I’ll let you decide (even though I kind of have myself with the rankings), and she apparently has a bond with Jay.

The only thing is: I get the feeling that her gunning for Jessica will become common knowledge, and it’ll blow up in her face.

8) Adam:
I’m sorry (not really, but it never hurts to be magnanimous - rest assured though, if it did? I wouldn’t bother) but I can’t see ANY way this kid can win the game.

Everything he’s attempted has been done in such a ham-fisted way it’s a shock to me that he’s not my age! I mean if this is what the male youth are capable of? The male of the species is on our way out! 9) Will: How one goes from an Immunity win to ‘not a threat’ in one episode is NOT an easy feat to accomplish.

It’s also not one to be lauded either. Compete son. If you don’t? You don’t win.

10) Zeke: Ditto. I’m still dreading what’s to come with him, but rest assured. I don’t think it’s a win.

11) Chris: It’s getting to the point that we could swap out Chris’ confessionals with an ape beating its chest. Same shit.

And his edit is just SCREAMING for him to get it in the nads! I mean seriously? Things don’t go my way? I get pissy. I get lucky and things go my way? I feel in control. I keep saying things at Tribal Council that describe how my demise will take place and why I’ll be the bitterest juror this side of Alecia, Big Tom, and Lex?

Well just pencil me in for ‘comeuppance’ and deliver it when it’s ready.

Well there ya have it folks!

Hope y’all enjoyed it. Hopefully all posting issues have been resolved, so you can post your thoughts below with impunity.

If not, never hesitate to email me directly. I absolutely promise not to take anything you say in private and use it to my advantage in any way.

What kind of person would do that?

Someone who knows a thing or two about Survivor, that’s who! And yes. That would be me!

Maybe a few of you too. Certainly those of you that agree with me.


Cheers folks!

Complete Survivor Coverage

Stimpy is a huge fan of Survivor and enjoys dissecting each episode. When not watching Survivor or sports on TV, he fills his time by skydiving, rockclimbing, golfing, and rollerblading, as well as sitting on the beach drinking beer in British Columbia, Canada. You can contact him at

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