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Stimpy's Take

Jessica "Figgy"
Justin "Jay"

Survivor 33: Trust Clusters - It's Survivor Dude
A Stimpy Snarkfest
November 24, 2016

Will tried to get everyone to agree to not let their games go to shit for Hannah and Zeke. No dice.

Jessica was worried as all get out though. She didn’t want to pull no stinking rocks! Hannah begged her to vote Zeke again.

Jessica did. And we were tied a second time.

On to the rock-pull. Who got the ‘Black Rock of Death’?



To say she took it hard would be an understatement. At least Probst tried to minimize it by telling it ‘it wasn’t the tribe, the GAME has spoken’.

As for Bret’s weak-ass ‘apology’? Oh I didn’t want to pull rocks! That was David!

Fuck you asshole! The very nature of a stalemate means that TWO sides are unwilling to move. If you really didn’t want to pull rocks? Why didn’t you side with the others and tell Zeke to fuck off? Newsflash: You didn’t. That makes you just as intransigent as the ‘other side’. Your hands are not clean, cop!

After she was gone we found out that Jessica willed her ‘Legacy Advantage’ to Ken, unsurprisingly. And I was impressed that Jessica copped to it. If she’d let her fear of pulling rocks rule her, Hannah would be giving the good-bye and not her.

Next up? Does David get a life-line in the form of Will? I’d argue that’d be like reaching for the anchor after you’ve bailed on the Titanic.

Also, we have the Loved Ones visit. And, Adam’s advantage comes up. Or does it? We shall see. It wouldn’t surprise me to see this kid fubar this one to epic proportions.

So? On to the Run-Down!


1) Hannah: She’s still neurotic as all get-out, but her instincts are still sharp.

2) David: No talisman, but his edit is better than most.

3) Ken: Bumping him up a bit, because he was at least wary of Zeke. And, despite his lackadaisical approach to things, perhaps with Jessica’s ouster AND getting the ‘Legacy Advantage’ maybe he steps things up a notch.

As with David, he’s gotten a better edit than most.

4) Jay: Don’t count this goober out. He’s got two ‘lock’ votes for him on the jury - in Michelle and the idiot who couldn’t get a bug off his shirt - and he still has a talisman.

5) Sunday: Props for saying that Ken was the plan. But if that’s all you’re taking to the Final Tribal Council? It ain’t much/

6) Will: No reason.

7) Bret: Dude? Just because Chris isn’t in the game anymore that doesn’t mean you HAVE to become chief asshole.

8) Zeke: Playing the game. Getting cocky. And shitting on David at Tribal Council probably didn’t win you any votes.

9) Adam: Still don’t see any way this kid can pull off the win. Everything he touches turns to shit. His instincts are terrible and he really has NO clue what the hell he’s doing.

Well, there ya have it folks! Hope y’all enjoyed it. In all honesty you better have, because this double-duty shit isn’t to my liking.

As always feel free to post your thoughts below, or email me directly.

And to my American brethren: Happy Thanksgiving!


Complete Survivor Coverage

Stimpy is a huge fan of Survivor and enjoys dissecting each episode. When not watching Survivor or sports on TV, he fills his time by skydiving, rockclimbing, golfing, and rollerblading, as well as sitting on the beach drinking beer in British Columbia, Canada. You can contact him at

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