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Amazing Race: One Can Never Have Enough Keoghan
Episode 4 Commentary by Jessi K.
October 21, 2008
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At the beginning of episode four of the 13th season of “The Amazing Race,” teams enjoyed a mandatory rest period in La Paz, Bolivia. Not resting, however, was the animosity between Kelly and Christy and Nick and Starr. Upsetting the divorcees this week was the fact that Nick and Starr asked Aja and Ty to U-Turn them. But really we all know that deep down Christy is still suffering from the loss of her beloved breathable power-mesh, seam-free, knit-in under cup panels, wicking moisture fabric garment. Let bragones be bragones, Christy. You can buy 25,000 new ones if you and Kelly win the $1 million prize.
Teams received their clue at the beginning of the leg to fly 6,900 miles to Auckland, New Zealand, home country of the lovely host Phil Keoghan. Tina and Ken seemed especially thrilled at news of their destination as were Marisa and Brooke at the thought that they may be the country’s sole blondes. All I could think of were the copious amount of Phil Keoghans that would be roaming in the background.
While Ken and Tina seemed to be basking in the glow of one another, Aja and Ty struggled. In the cab on the way to the airport Aja told Ty if he said “bit us in the butt” one more time, she was going to “jump off a cliff.” Or a ledge….sports bra style.
At the airport in Bolivia, all teams were able to get tickets on the same flight, which wasn’t as surprising as how quickly Bolivians were to give up their laptops. (Of which seemed reminiscent of Fisher Price’s Fun 2 Learn Laughtop series.) There seemed to be no hesitation on their part to hand over their technology to the Racers to search for flights. I, myself, would be less likely to hand over my computer to strangers. But then again, these Bolivian laptop holders were at the airport at an ungodly hour of the day. Had I been in the terminal at 2 a.m., I’d probably look as if I were busily working, too, but really only be online playing silly arcade games like “Diner Dash” or “Burger Shop.” I suppose if approached by two matching Americans with giant backpacks and a camera crew, I would oblige.
At the airport, Ken and Tina whined about losing their 30 minute lead on everyone while Aja and Ty whined about how one is treating the other. Aja wanted to break away from the pack hanging out in the internet café in order to wait at a ticket counter and Ty replied to her idea by saying, “OK leader. OK Fidel. I’m gonna start callin’ you Fidel Castro.” At this point, I waited for the words “Long Distance Relationship” located under their names on screen to change to “No relationship.” But after being called a dictator, Aja didn’t up and leave Ty but rather forced him into embracing her. “Give me a hug. Now.” she said to him while wearing red spandex pants. She looked more like a cyclist than a fascist.
Teams arrived in Auckland, New Zealand, found their marked cars and made their way to Gulf Harbor to look for a Gordian knot to untie that would reveal their next clue. After sitting on a flight with Sarah for nearly 25 hours, Terence didn’t have enough attention from her and asked her: “Can I have a little love? Can you touch me for a little while? Maybe play with my hair?” Can we say Auck-ward?
And just as Aja and Ty had begun to pepper their conversations with the word “baby” again, their tire went flat and so did their relationship. Not knowing how to change a tire, Aja stood in the middle of the street and screamed, “Help! Help!” When a car finally pulled over, I imagined their exchange as follows:
Aja: Help! Help!
Kind Phil-Keoghan-esque New Zealander: Is someone injured?
Aja: Not yet.
Some teams struggled with finding their first destination in New Zealand but Ken and Tina, Terence and Sarah, and Dan and Andrew had no issues and arrived first. Once they untied the knot, they learned their next clue was awaiting them at Mount Eden and also, the first of two fast forwards was available for the taking. To win the fast forward, teams needed to climb Auckland Sky Tower’s maintenance ladders to “pick up a friend.”
Tina and Ken and Dan and Andrew raced to the site but I wished for Tina and Ken to arrive first. Climbing a building 1,000 feet high is certainly also relationship building, right? Besides, maybe the “friend” waiting at the top was a marriage counselor.
Thankfully, Tina and Ken arrived to the fast forward first and were told to “jump into jumpsuits.” Andrew and Dan saw the yellow and red flag on Tina and Ken’s car and decided to shoo themselves away in their shoes and race toward the road block at Mount Eden.
Terence and Sarah arrived at the road block first which required the teams to match the print of a tattoo on paper to a Maori warrior’s real tattoo. Terence struggled but managed to find the matching warrior who reciprocated with both a clue and a hongi, or a Maori kiss. Sarah cheered loudly from nearby as the two men pressed noses to one another. I think she was glad that someone else had to give him love for a moment. I would’ve loved to have seen what the Maori would’ve done had Terence asked the warrior to play with his hair.
Toni and Dallas’ (or “Dally” as his.....
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Jessi K. is a freelance writer from Iowa who has a penchant for reality TV, carbonated beverages, and boybands. She can be reached at Jessi@RealityTVCalendar.com.
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