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Amazing Race: One Can Never Have Enough Keoghan
Episode 4 Commentary by Jessi K.
October 21, 2008
Toni and Dallas’ (or “Dally” as his mother affectionately called him this episode), exchange at Mount Eden was delightful. While Dally worried whether his mother would be eaten by the Maori, Toni was busy getting some Maori love. “You’re beautiful,” she told the warrior. I now want Toni and the warrior to get together so we can have the first ever Amazing Race spin-off reality show titled, “Just Maoriied!”

Marisa and Brooke finally found the Gordian knot while Andrew and Dan and Christy and Kelly were busy searching for Maori tattoos. But it was Andrew’s Maori kiss with his warrior that was the most memorable moment of the show. Can we say double auck-ward?

After touching noses with the warriors, teams had to make their way to the City Life hotel downtown where they had to use binoculars to search for various Travelocity gnomes performing New Zealand’s wish list activities—none of which included sharing an ice cream sundae with Phil Keoghan but I guess that’s only on my wish list.

Once the teams located their hiding gnomes, they made their way to Kiwi 360 degrees. Terence and Sarah arrived first and Terence prevented Sarah from opening the envelope because she’s “very bad at it.” I’m not sure what being bad at opening an envelope entails—is Sarah trying to use her elbows to open them?

At the roadblock, teams had to decide between “matter of time” where they had to crush enough kiwis to make 12 quarts of juice or “matter of skill” in which each team had to assemble a pair of blokarts and complete three laps in them. All teams immediately choose matter of time but only Terence and Sarah, Christy and Kelly, and Marisa and Brooke managed to finish the task. The rest of the teams switched tasks after starting to stomp the kiwi. Dan and Andrew struggled the most at the matter of skill task as Dan the Downer couldn’t figure out how to put his blokart together. It seemed to be affecting his manhood as he stated, “I am a mechanical guy. I look like an idiot right now. Give me a sports trivia and….I’ll beat everybody.” This isn’t Tuesday night at Buffalo Wild Wings, Dan. You’re gonna have to do a little more for $1 million than sit on a bar stool and recall information. It’s going to be tough: you’re going to have to race a blokart no matter how much you think it “blos.”

Ken and Tina arrived first to the pit stop at Summerhill via helicopter. As they ran to meet Phil and a nice looking gentleman in a suit, I assumed the man was probably a politician. I heard his name as: Im Philsdad. Then it hit me: Phil’s father! How delightful! I couldn’t wait for the other teams to finish in order to see him again.

Terence and Sarah finished second followed by Christy and Kelly, Toni and Dallas, Nick and Starr, Dan and Andrew, and Aja and Ty. After a hard day, Marisa and Brooke approached the mat with tears in their eyes as they both knew their fate. Phil regretfully told them they were eliminated from the race but all was not lost as Phil’s dad offered them a big bear hug. He’s what this show needs. Now only if they would take him along to each and every pit stop and dress him up in that country’s native clothing. I can see him now in a matador costume saying, “Bienvenido a Espana. Soy el padre de Phil!” and wearing a beret with a greeting of “Bienvenue en France! Je suis le pčre de Phil!” One can never have enough Keoghan.

Jessi K. is a freelance writer from Iowa who has a penchant for reality TV, carbonated beverages, and boybands. She can be reached at
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